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March 29, 2006
Pink Panther
Some people have discussed in what order the Star Wars movies should be viewed.
Many 35-year-olds, who were entranced with the series as children, now have kids themselves, and have the opportunity to share it.
Some vote for the order in which the movies were released, and others argue for the order in which the events take place.
I would like to have the experience of seeing them all fresh, in the latter order, although #4 would look so strange in juxtaposition with 'Revenge of the Sith'.
And others have discussed how the Narnia series should be read (or viewed, assuming they make more).
But no one, to my knowledge, has discussed what order the Pink Panther movies should be watched.
When I was a kid, we used to watch Pink Panther movies on TV whenever they were on.
The titles were so similar, though, that I could never remember which was which.
And I recalled one of the movies (Trail of the Pink Panther) was just so odd and confusing that I couldn't understand it.
But the cartoons at the beginning of the movies were funny, and the theme music was so catchy that the series was always destined to become classic.
I wonder why movies now are unable to have catchy themes, the way the James Bond series or Star Wars had.
The last movie I can think of with an original, catchy theme was 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.
Austin Powers had a catchy theme, but it was regurgitated from Woody Allen's 'Take the Money and Run'.
The Austin Powers movies are basically composites of Peter Sellers and Woody Allen movies from the 60s and 70s.
Anyway, here is the rundown of which Pink Panthers to watch, and in what order:
Some people have discussed in what order the Star Wars movies should be viewed.
Many 35-year-olds, who were entranced with the series as children, now have kids themselves, and have the opportunity to share it.
Some vote for the order in which the movies were released, and others argue for the order in which the events take place.
I would like to have the experience of seeing them all fresh, in the latter order, although #4 would look so strange in juxtaposition with 'Revenge of the Sith'.
And others have discussed how the Narnia series should be read (or viewed, assuming they make more).
But no one, to my knowledge, has discussed what order the Pink Panther movies should be watched.
When I was a kid, we used to watch Pink Panther movies on TV whenever they were on.
The titles were so similar, though, that I could never remember which was which.
And I recalled one of the movies (Trail of the Pink Panther) was just so odd and confusing that I couldn't understand it.
But the cartoons at the beginning of the movies were funny, and the theme music was so catchy that the series was always destined to become classic.
I wonder why movies now are unable to have catchy themes, the way the James Bond series or Star Wars had.
The last movie I can think of with an original, catchy theme was 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.
Austin Powers had a catchy theme, but it was regurgitated from Woody Allen's 'Take the Money and Run'.
The Austin Powers movies are basically composites of Peter Sellers and Woody Allen movies from the 60s and 70s.
Anyway, here is the rundown of which Pink Panthers to watch, and in what order:
The Pink Panther (1963)
David Niven, a very young Robert Wagner, and others in a 60's-era farce, in which the character of Jacques Clouseau is almost secondary.
Worth watching just for the snapshot of early 1960s culture, but not particularly funny.
A Shot in the Dark (1964)
The spin-off that featured Inspector Clouseau as the bumbling lead.
This is the first real Clouseau picture, the one that introduces Cato as the servant and Dreyfus as the boss who hates Clouseau.
Sellers and Edwards didn't get along, so the next movie was
'Inspector Clouseau' (1968)
with Alan Arkin in the lead. Arkin is a funny actor, but the movie is bad and it's just too disconcerting to have a different actor play Clouseau.
The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)
The first Peter Sellers Pink Panther movie in over 10 years, and the first 'classic' panther movie, with more slapstick humor.
The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)
The best movie in the series, with the most outrageous plot - clearly an inspiration for the Austin Powers movies.
The 'Pink Panther' diamond doesn't even appear in this movie or the next, but the Clouseau character is so closely associated with the cartoon and the Mancini theme that they are inseparable.
This one feels like it wraps up the series, with Dreyfus finally finished, and should be watched last.
Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978)
The 'American' one, in which Dreyfus miraculously reappears.
This was the last good one, but already feels like it recycles a lot from the earlier ones.
Some running gags, like Cato attacking Clouseau stay funny, but ones about his pronunciation of 'monkey' or 'room' or 'bump' get old fast.
Blake Edwards had some funny movies, such as '10' with Dudley Moore, and Victor/Victoria, although if you see multiple Edwards movies close together you see how he recycles a lot of the gags.
Also, his portrayal of Asians always turns me off a bit.
'Trail of the Pink Panther' (1982)
Do not watch this.
It's made of outtakes from the other movies, combined with scenes in which Clouseau is played by an impersonator, with embarassingly bad voice-overs.
Peter Sellers died in 1980, and Blake Edwards had many hours of ununsed footage that he thought could be recycled.
I almost admire the effort of making a complete movie just from outtakes, but the continuity is nearly non-existant.
There are maybe 15 minutes worth of funny scenes not seen before, but the final result is just a confusing mess.
I always thought Peter Sellers looke dlike John Lennon, and it was a coincidence that they died only 6 months apart.
There were other movies as well, with different actors in the lead, and none are worth watching.
Steve Martin used to be funny, but now everything he does is crud made for shopping mall sloths.
So, of a dozen Pink Panther movies, only five are good enough to actually watch.
1 The Pink Panther (1963)
2 A Shot in the Dark (1964)
3 The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)
4 Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978)
5 The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)
Other good Peter Sellers movies
The Ladykillers (1955)
The Mouse That Roared (1959)
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Murder by Death (1976)
Being There (1979)
Posted by mslaybau at 12:23 AM | Comments (0)
March 24, 2006
P.T. Barnum on How to Get Rich
Project Gutenberg, which has published online many many texts the copyrights of which have expired, has a copy of P. T. (Phineas Taylor) Barnum's
"The Art of Money Getting (or Golden Rules for Making Money)"
which seems to include most of the same advice found in modern self-help seminars. Each chapter begins with an aphorism, which is then expounded upon.
1. DON'T MISTAKE YOUR VOCATION
2. SELECT THE RIGHT LOCATION
3. AVOID DEBT
4. PERSEVERE
5. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO IT WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT
6. DEPEND UPON YOUR OWN PERSONAL EXERTIONS
7. USE THE BEST TOOLS
8. DON'T GET ABOVE YOUR BUSINESS
9. LEARN SOMETHING USEFUL
10. LET HOPE PREDOMINATE BUT BE NOT TOO VISIONARY
11. DO NOT SCATTER YOUR POWERS
12. BE SYSTEMATIC
13. READ THE NEWSPAPERS
14. BEWARE OF "OUTSIDE OPERATIONS"
15. DON'T INDORSE WITHOUT SECURITY
16. ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS
17. BE POLITE AND KIND TO YOUR CUSTOMERS
18. BE CHARITABLE
19. DON'T BLAB
20. PRESERVE YOUR INTEGRITY
The University of Michigan has the text of another of Barnum's books,
The humbugs of the world.: An account of humbugs, delusions,impositions, quackeries, deceits and deceivers generally, in all ages.
I've only recently come to respect and appreciate the man known mostly for his quote, "There's a sucker born every minute" (though it appears that quote is apocryphal). It seems in this age of reality television and copious, unwanted advertising in every medium we know, that we can gain a lot from the lessons learned by the man who helped pioneer the traveling medicine show.
Posted by mslaybau at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)
March 07, 2006
The Road to Mandalay
Rudyard Kipling as an interesting poet to study these days. His notions of the White Man's Burden seem so outdated, yet his experiences in Colonial India have echoes in the actions of the U.S. in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I had some music snippets and thought it would be a good exercise to fill them out using an existing poem as the basis for rhythm and structure.
I chose Kipling's "Mandalay" because it had a structure that would work with what I already had melodically, and the verses are very visual.
The Road to Mandalay (mp3 2.32MB) is the simple demo.
It could use a bridge; it only has an A and B part now which gets repetitive after a few verses.
I heard a Sinatra version of a song also based on this poem, and I definitely think mine is better.
The lyrics I originally wrote are in this song Dr K. which I kind of like, but Kipling's are good too.
a F a d a A d aa7 C G D C E E G
By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin' eastward to the sea, There's a Burma girl a-settin', and I know she thinks o' me;
For the wind is in the palm-trees, and the temple-bells they say: "Come you back, you British soldier; come you back to Mandalay!"a G F a a E F a
Come you back to Mandalay, Where the old Flotilla lay: Can't you 'ear their paddles chunkin' from Rangoon to Mandalay?
On the road to Mandalay, Where the flyin'-fishes play, An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!a7 C G D C E E G
'Er petticoat was yaller an' 'er little cap was green, An' 'er name was Supi-yaw-lat -- jes' the same as Theebaw's Queen,
An' I seed her first a-smokin' of a whackin' white cheroot, An' a-wastin' Christian kisses on an 'eathen idol's foot:a G F a a E F a
Bloomin' idol made o'mud -- Wot they called the Great Gawd Budd -- Plucky lot she cared for idols when I kissed 'er where she stud!a7 C G D C E E G
When the mist was on the rice-fields an' the sun was droppin' slow, She'd git 'er little banjo an' she'd sing "~Kulla-lo-lo!~"
With 'er arm upon my shoulder an' 'er cheek agin' my cheek We USEter watch the steamers an' the ~hathis~ pilin' teak.a G F a a E F a
Elephints a-pilin' teak In the sludgy, squdgy creek, Where the silence 'ung that 'eavy you was 'arf afraid to speak!
a7 C G D C E E G
But that's all shove be'ind me -- long ago an' fur away, An' there ain't no 'busses runnin' from the Bank to Mandalay;
An' I'm learnin' 'ere in London what the ten-year soldier tells: "If you've 'eard the East a-callin', you won't never 'eed naught else."a G F a a E F a
No! you won't 'eed nothin' else But them spicy garlic smells, An' the sunshine an' the palm-trees an' the tinkly temple-bells;a7 C G D C E E G
I am sick o' wastin' leather on these gritty pavin'-stones, An' the blasted Henglish drizzle wakes the fever in my bones;
Tho' I walks with fifty 'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand, An' they talks a lot o' lovin', but wot do they understand?a G F a a E F a
Beefy face an' grubby 'and -- Law! wot do they understand? I've a neater, sweeter maiden in a cleaner, greener land!a7 C G D C E E G
Ship me somewheres east of Suez, where the best is like the worst, Where there aren't no Ten Commandments an' a man can raise a thirst;
For the temple-bells are callin', an' it's there that I would be -- By the old Moulmein Pagoda, looking lazy at the sea;a G F a a E F a
On the road to Mandalay, Where the old Flotilla lay, With our sick beneath the awnings when we went to Mandalay!
On the road to Mandalay, Where the flyin'-fishes play, An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the Bay!
Posted by mslaybau at 05:19 PM | Comments (0)
March 06, 2006
Westerns
I've seen a number of westerns, and although there don't seem to be any sequels in that genre, many actors are cast multiple times in similar movies, creating the impression that there is in fact a series.
Case in point is the Sergio Leone 'series' with Clint Eastwood as 'the man with no name' (although he is given a name in each movie, which combined come to "Joe 'Blondie' Manco").
But, simply watching the movies in order based on when they were made doesn't make sense, since some characters die, only to have the actors who portrayed them reappear in later movies.
So, here is my order on how to watch the classic 'spaghetti westerns':
"Once Upon a Time in the West"
1. None of the characters are cast later, but Leone made this one later, and the context of this one is good as a setting for watching the others.
"The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly"
2. The last of the Leone trilogy, but the one that sets the context of the American southwest at the end of the Civil War; the one where Joe meets Col. Mortimer (presumably under a different name) and where Joe picks up his trademark serape.
"A Fistfull of Dollars"
3. Joe Manco acting alone in a Mexican town ruled by two families, one Mexican and one Anglo. Pretty much everyone dies by the end, but the real villain, Ramón should be assumed to have survived...
"For a Few Dollars More"
4. ...because the same actor plays the bad guy in this movie, "Indio" (presumably a nickname). He doesn't seem to remember Joe Manco, but he is portrayed as being sick and somewhat delirious, so that can be excused.
In this one, Joe meets up with "Colonel 'Angel Eyes' Mortimer" again, who he had killed in Sand Hill cemetery (but let's assume he was only seriously injured - it's hard to tell when death and serious injury are both portrayed by squinting, clutching the gut, and keeling over)
The seem to recognize each other, and though mutually suspicious, come to warily trust each other.
Angel Eyes here doesn't die, but effectively retires as a gunslinger
"The Magnificent Seven"
5. Nowhere near as good as the Kurosawa original "Seven Samurai" and directed by Sturges, not Leone, I include it only because it includes Eli Wallach as a bad guy, whom we can pretend is Tuco after the end of "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly", well after he's spent his $100,000.
Posted by mslaybau at 07:22 AM | Comments (0)
March 05, 2006
Conversations with my Cabbie I
Walking home a little drunk at 3am, stop in at Kennedy Fried Chicken.
At this hour in this neighborhood, guys behind counters always seem happy to see a whitey stop in.
"What's hot?"
"Hunh?"
"What's ready?"
"Wings!"
"Wings it is then. 6 pieces, please."
Munching wings at 3:05am on 1st Ave, I see a guy sprawled out in the street near a cab, and the cabbie with his arms out, palms forward standing over him, who looks at me and asks if I can help drag the passed-out guy to the curb. I finish the wing I'm eating and put the rest in the pocket of my coat and take the drunk guy's left armpit while the cabbie takes the right.
Drunkie starts to wake up a bit so I say stuff like "Hey man, just moving you to a more comfortable spot, just getting you a little more comfortable, alright then."
The cabbie explains how drunkie was fine when he got in, but passed out before he could pay. So I suggest we rummage through the guy's pockets, but cabbie says no, he never does that. Cabbie says he'll give me a ride home, and what the hell, so I get in.
We chat about drunks and being a cabbie, and he says he used to work at Langley, and I ask whether he did cryptography, and he says no, Secret Service.
So I ask, why the hell are you driving a cab in Harlem, you must get some good retirement benefits, and he says his wife bought a medallion for $7,000 many years ago, and now that those things are worth $300,000 he wants to keep it so his grandkids can have a way to make money.
I say I'm tired of living in a neighborhood where cabbies drag drunks to the curb, and ask him where he thinks is a good neighborhood and he says Prospect Heights. He mentions a few streets and after he stops at my street we trade names and shake hands.
When I get home I look at a map and find Prospect Heights. None of the streets the cabbie mentioned even exist.
Posted by mslaybau at 03:33 AM | Comments (0)